The Duck

I once met a duck,
I was driving a barge,
He wouldn’t move over,
Started giving it large,
Saying things like
“you don’t even know you’re born”
I had to shout at him,
Barges don’t have horns,
It was a strange situation,
Quite hard to guage,
A talking duck
Suffering from canal rage,
So in the end
I just ran him down,
He floated up behind,
I think he’d drowned,
I felt a bit bad,
So at the end of my journey
I bought a book
on taxidermy,
I cut him open,
Took out his insides,
Put him on a nice stand,
And gave him glass eyes,
And now the duck
Sits on my mantelpiece,
With a couple of badgers
And a gaggle of geese
And a number of squirrels
And a fox and a cat
And a sheep and a dog,
I just realised that
I may have actually
Got a bit carried away,
But I ran them all down
So they were dead anyway,
If you want to blame someone
For these newly departed,
Blame that damn duck,
He’s how it all started.

Festive

Here is a little poem I wrote around Christmas time. It makes me sound like a bit of a Scrooge but I promise I'm not.



The warmth of the cold
Bringing
Everyone together
Except for the ones who don't get along
They
Need to be organised carefully
Clouds of coughing
The high streets filled with desperation
Eating more than is neccessary but less than is required
Groovy uncles come out of their shells
The masses retreat into alcoholism
Tired children
Grumpy
Sitting in front of the TV watching
Snow
White
A whole year of energy saving goes out of the window
And around a tree
A tangle of strangling contradictions
Jesus.

People Just Do Nothing - Studio Footage

We filmed a few scenes/ interviews to get a feel for the characters and to get used to being on camera. It's all new for us, none of us are actors, so none of us were sure how it would turn out. After seeing the footage I am really excited about it and I'm confident that we could film a full length episode. Obviously we'd need to have a few less swearwords but generally I think it has enormous potential.