Political

LAMBSHANK
You know what, if Russia tried to invade us I wouldn’t have it blud.

SCREWBOAT
Nah, I’d switch.

LAMBSHANK
I’d ring my cousin from East. They got armies man, serious.

SCREWBOAT

Is it? What have they got tanks and that?

LAMBSHANK
Nah but they could blatently link some.

SCREWBOAT
What they got planes?

LAMBSHANKProbably.

SCREWBOAT
Submarines?

LAMBSHANK
Blud, why you gonna need a submarine if Russia invades London?

SCREWBOAT
So that you can hide in the river Thames and then pop up and start murkin guys.

LAMBSHANK
Oh yeah truesay. That would be sick.

SCREWBOAT
Russia wouldn’t chuck it anyway.

LAMBSHANK
Nah they know.

SCREWBOAT
We got too many tugs.

LAMBSHANK
Ezackly.

SCREWBOAT
We got more stabbings than anywhere in the world I reckon.

LAMBSHANK
We got bare stabbings.

SCREWBOAT

That shit speaks loud to other countries. Like, if you come try invade us you will get stabbed up. Rags.

LAMBSHANK
See the government think that knife crime is bad yeah but they’re just dumb blood. Knife crime is positive. It’s protection.

SCREWBOAT
From Russia.

LAMBSHANK
Yeah basically.

SCREWBOAT

And also from random brears who chuck it on road.

LAMBSHANK
Or won’t give you their phone.

SCREWBOAT
Ezackly.