This is an early draft of the Badmanz script which we were developing into an animation. All has gone a bit quiet for the time being so I'm thinkin a Blazin Unit script might be a better use of my time. Anyway, have a look.
INTRO MUSIC
INT – MUSIC CLASSROOM – DAY
INT – MUSIC CLASSROOM – DAY
MR FREARS
Guys, I have to say, I am totally feeling that urban Dizzy Rascal mobo vibe you have going on there. Really cool. I could totally get down with that completely. Totally catching that vibe. Street…
TIDDY
I told you man. Brears like you just need to take the time to listen.
MR FREARS
Can you untie me now?
The camera pans out to reveal the MR FREARS tied to a chair. TIDDY, CAMEO and JEZZLE are standing around menacingly while FELIX sits with a keyboard on his lap
TIDDY
So you know who is gonna win the music competition tomorrow yeah?
MR FREARS
Let’s just say I have a very good idea boys, yes.
CAMEO
Go on…
TIDDY
He means us man.
CAMEO
You better mean us. I’ll shank you with a board marker blud, don’t think I haven’t done it before.
TIDDY
You ain’t done that before.
CAMEO
Yeah but don’t THINK it! Cos I will do it and then you will really have something to think about.
MR FREARS
What?
TIDDY
Just make sure we win. This ain’t a joke ting.
MR FREARS
OK guys, you’ve made yourself clear. I think it’s cool that you are so passionate about your music. Really excellent…
TIDDY pulls out a gun.
TIDDY
Leave us.
TIDDY pulls out a gun.
TIDDY
Leave us.
INT – MUSIC PRACTICE ROOM – DAY
CAMEO
We need this room now blud, get out before I ring my cousin. You pum pum.
PUPIL
But… we were here…
CAMEO
I’m ringing him now…
TIDDY
Bruv don’t get stupid. I’ll stab you wid your violin bruv it aint a long ting.
FELIX
Do you have a pass?
PUPIL
A pass?
PUPIL
A pass?
FELIX
Yes, this is a specialist practice room. I’m afraid you need a pass signed by Mr Frears.
PUPIL
Oh, ok. Sorry Felix. Sorry guys. I didn’t realise.
CAMEO
You’re lucky I got no credit.
TIDDY
Just get out man, move.
Tiddy produces a white label CD-R that reads GUNSHOT RIDDIMS.
TIDDY
Blud, put track 3 on. Come we get on some murky hype flow…
Tiddy starts to “spit” the most ridiculous lyrics. Desperate to get involved CAMEO charges up and grabs the mic and barely gets through a coherent sentence before he is stumbling over his words and the track has to be stopped.
FELIX
Guys, we need to get something written if we want to get taken seriously.
TIDDY
TIDDY
Yeah for real, we need something fresh man – that beat sounds like some 90s Artful Dodger fassy riddim. We need some next grime. We gotta make an impact man. If those those A&R brears are gonna give us a deal we gotta come with something that slaps them in the face and jacks their Nokia..
CAMEO
(excitedly) SPACE GRIME BRUV! I must have been on Fruity Loops last night yeah and I swear down I created a whole new genre of music! FUTURE SPACE GRIME! It sounds sick man its like some intergalactic crunk shit! Proper sick!
TIDDY
Alright fuck it. That’s the one. I’ll write the lyrics; Felix, you and Cameo can work on the beat. Jezzle, can sort out the outfits.
INT – SCHOOL HALL – DAY
There is a buzz in the air, a small boy is finishing a classical piano recital.
INT – DRESSING ROOM AREA – DAY
The boys are dressed in matching outfits and are holding various weapons. Cameo is smoking.
TIDDY
This is gonna be nuts man, I hope we get gun shots.
CAMEO
Me too blood. I hope I get shot.
FELIX
You’re are a strange young man.
MR FREARSLooking good guys, very urban. Especially you Felix. Super urban.
FELIX
Why? Because I’m black?
MR FREARS
No, no. Just… you know… your vibe.
TIDDYWhat’s the audience sayin?
MR FREARS
Chatty as always. I think you should find them very receptive. Although try to watch your language and Cameo please put out that joint, it’s not a good example for these kids.
CAMEO
(coughing) This is yours anyway… what do you mean kids?
MR FREARS
We don’t need the infants seeing you smoking.
FELIXWe’re playing for the infants?
MR FREARS
Yes and you’re on right now guys! Get out there!
FELIX
Oh god… I don’t know about this…
TIDDY
Shut up man! It’s up to us to show these kids real music from the streets. Our thoughts, feelings, trials and tribulations you get me…We don’t want them to grow up shielded from what goes on. We need to represent youth culture and open their eyes. It’s up to us to show what the youth of today is REALLY about.
CAMEO
(excitedly) SPACE GRIME BRUV! I must have been on Fruity Loops last night yeah and I swear down I created a whole new genre of music! FUTURE SPACE GRIME! It sounds sick man its like some intergalactic crunk shit! Proper sick!
TIDDY
Alright fuck it. That’s the one. I’ll write the lyrics; Felix, you and Cameo can work on the beat. Jezzle, can sort out the outfits.
INT – SCHOOL HALL – DAY
There is a buzz in the air, a small boy is finishing a classical piano recital.
INT – DRESSING ROOM AREA – DAY
The boys are dressed in matching outfits and are holding various weapons. Cameo is smoking.
TIDDY
This is gonna be nuts man, I hope we get gun shots.
CAMEO
Me too blood. I hope I get shot.
FELIX
You’re are a strange young man.
MR FREARSLooking good guys, very urban. Especially you Felix. Super urban.
FELIX
Why? Because I’m black?
MR FREARS
No, no. Just… you know… your vibe.
TIDDYWhat’s the audience sayin?
MR FREARS
Chatty as always. I think you should find them very receptive. Although try to watch your language and Cameo please put out that joint, it’s not a good example for these kids.
CAMEO
(coughing) This is yours anyway… what do you mean kids?
MR FREARS
We don’t need the infants seeing you smoking.
FELIXWe’re playing for the infants?
MR FREARS
Yes and you’re on right now guys! Get out there!
FELIX
Oh god… I don’t know about this…
TIDDY
Shut up man! It’s up to us to show these kids real music from the streets. Our thoughts, feelings, trials and tribulations you get me…We don’t want them to grow up shielded from what goes on. We need to represent youth culture and open their eyes. It’s up to us to show what the youth of today is REALLY about.
INT- SCHOOL HALL – DAY
The lights dim, spotlights appear and the gun sounds SFX go off – THE PERFORMANCE STARTS.
The BadManz peform the most explicit / heavy GRIME TUNE – full of expletives, references to bitches, gang culture etc. etc.
We see the small infant kids stunned, mouths open.
When Jezzle’s bit comes in (up until now he’s been silent) he MCs with the most gravely, heavy Jamaican accent.
When the music stops, Tiddy dedicates the track to his “Boy Soldiers” who cannot be with us today.
It ends with one of the four year old infants innocently repeating one of the many expletives he has just heard.
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