Blazin Unit the movie

The Mixtape of Destiny... coming soon... here is a snippet

SCENE 1 - A PARK - LATE AT NIGHT
Two hooded figures sit on a bench in the middle of an eerily dark, deserted green. Trains and tower blocks nearby indicate a city.

A cyclist appears from some bushes at the other end of the park and frantically pedals towards the two figures. He is dressed in black and wears sunglasses.

The two figures stand as the mysterious cyclist quickly approaches. Leaping of his bike, the cyclist darts towards the two figures and lays a small package on the floor in front of them before sprinting furiously away.

LYRICAL
Oi, where did you get this bruv?

FIGURE (SHOUTING FROM A DISTANCE)
I found it. Just like you are finding it. I know nothing.

RAGO MARK
He left his bike.

LYRICAL
Yeah...

SCENE 2 - HOUNSLOW HIGH STREET - LATE AT NIGHT.
LYRICAL walks while RAGO MARK rides the bike.

RAGO MARK
What’s on that ting man?

LYRICAL
I dunno man. Everyone’s got their own theory you get me? I heard its the first garage mixtape ever created - they put an old record on 45 rpm by accident instead of 33 and one dude just started MCing...

RAGO MARK
One brear told me that Oxide and Neutrino used to work in Mothercare ‘til they heard the mixtape.

LYRICAL
That’s mad.

RAGO MARK
I know

LYRICAL
Mothercare... that’s nuts.

RAGO MARK
That’s what I’m sayin’... I know one guy who works there now. But he ain’t ever gonna hear no mixtape. This is our time man. B Unit ya get mah!

LYRICAL
Yeah rude boy! Our time to shine!

RAGO MARK
I need to get famous man, quick. This shit is takin’ too long right now.

LYRICAL
What was goin on with my man in the park?! He looked lost bruv!

RAGO MARK
He looked cracked man.

LYRICAL
I overheard one guy in Pizza Hut talkin about the mixtape and he said that the UN were after it cos it is catagorised as a weapon of mass destruction!

RAGO MARK
Seen. What is UN? A crew?

LYRICAL
Government ting.

RAGO MARK
Seen, seen. Mass destruction sounds nuts. We should call our album that.

LYRICAL
Means we gotta be careful with this thing though.

RAGO MARK
What, you shook?!

LYRICAL
Nah nah, but we just need to hold it down. It is deeper than we even know bruv. One boy from college said that it aint even a proper mixtape. It’s a metaphor.

RAGO MARK
What’s that?

LYRICAL
I dunno but it sounds deeper still.

RAGO MARK
Truesay. There’s none for havin’ some fuckin men in black guys knockin at my mums yard. She would batter me... Last time jakes came to the house she tried to shank me blud!

LYRICAL
Your mum is joke.

RAGO MARK
Ain’t a joke when it’s real blud. I had to stay in my bathroom for two days. Man was eatin soap and drinkin toilet water.

LYRICAL
(Laughing)
Why didn’t you just drink from the tap?

RAGO MARK
I was tied up.

LYRICAL
Later... (long pause)...so what, can your boy at Mothercare get discount?

A MESSY BEDROOM - LATER

LYRICAL
You got something that can play this? Been a while since I even seen a tape...

RAGO MARK
Yeah man, I still got that same hi-fi from year seven!

LYRICAL
(laughing) Later! That must be a collectors item man! That’s some Cash in the Attic shit.

RAGO MARK
Dickhead. You wanna hear the Mixtape of Destiny you better respect the damn hi-fi.

LYRICAL
They shouldn’t have called it the Mixtapeof Destiny. That name is weak. They should have called it something more aggy... like the Darkside Grit-Tape.

RAGO MARK
Grit-tape?! You joker. I would have called it something deep but still kinda rugged like... Solid Love.

LYRICAL
I swear MC Romeo’s album was called that.

RAGO MARK
He had an album? I remember him doin’ a tune with that Christina Milian. She was LIVE!

LYRICAL
Yeah yeah yeah she is deeper still. What, better than Lisa Maffia though?

RAGO MARK
Nah nah nah nah nah nah...

LYRICAL
You get me. I wonder who named the Mixtape though. Like, who was there.

RAGO MARK
MC Creed?

LYRICAL
Yeah, he is madly old still...

RAGO MARK
ACTUALLY YOU KNOW WHAT! You know what I would call it?! The Mass Destruction Ultra-Shank Blessing.

LYRICAL
Yeah that’s a sick name still.

RAGO MARK
That’s what I told Claire that I wanted to call my first child.

LYRICAL
What so she would get an abortion?

RAGO MARK
Yeah man!

LYRICAL
Joker. Is it ready?

RAGO MARK puts the tape into a large, elaborate hi-fi and turns it on.

RAGO MARK
Yeah. What, shall I do it now?

LYRICAL
Yeah bruv!

RAGO MARK
What, you ready?

LYRICAL
Course man. (pause) Nah, wait wait.

LYRICAL takes a spliff which has been tucked behind his ear and puts it in his mouth. He puts up his hood. Then he stares at the floor with a look of deep concentration and breathes deeply.

LYRICAL (CONT’D)
Aite man. Go on.